2007-05-20
pointless
i'm going to try to forget about the boy.
i'm going to forget his upcoming success, his undeniable charm, his talent, his adorable looks, and his atypically gay demeanor.
you know, that's the only reason why i'm completely infatuated. once again, a straight gay boy has got me eating less, stressing out, and feeling lonely.
i don't like this. i don't like my emotions dipping from one end of the spectrum to the other, day after day. from hope, to despondency; from satisfaction, to resentment.
it wasn't a good idea to see his show last night.
fuck, i don't even know how to articulate exactly how i'm feeling about this right now. do i keep trying? do i give it up? do look somewhere else already?
it's one of those days where i just want to dig a hole and bury myself until i'm absolutely sure everything will be better when i come back out. i want to give up, but i know i won't. whatever. i'll figure it out at some point.
tipsydrunk at 2:53 p.m.
